the funny news

• A fly parasite is being blamed for an epidemic that has struck the honey bee population around the world. The parasite nests in the stomach of the bees and causes them to walk in circles, sometimes pursuing bright lights, before eventually dying.

•  After successfully launching the on-demand cable television channel across San Diego, parent company PTV Media is now set to launch DogTV nationwide.

Wasilla, AK – Political observers were briefly surprised on Sunday when Alaska Governor Sarah Palin checked herself into a rehabilitation clinic for an undisclosed number of narcotics in Wasilla, Alaska. “This is shocking, completely shocking,” began CNN contributor Melinda Torres. “Well, actually, not that shocking.”

• “I didn’t see this coming at all,” said Washington Post’s Chris Cizilla. “But I really should have. Her behavior for the last six months is perfectly in line with a meth addict.”

• Palin, who hails from the methamphetamine capitol of Alaska, came into the national spotlight last fall when she was nominated to be John McCain’s running mate. Initially well received due to her ability to energize a crowd, Palin quickly became an object of criticism due to her widely panned interviews with Katie Couric and Charlie Gibson. She was then spotlighted frequently by the news media as being “off script” from the McCain campaign, with several senior McCain aides saying that the governor was “going rogue.”

Mottos to Live By

There are a lot of times when we go through problems in our life, and become very discouraged. Some people, when faced by problems, opt for fighting back; whereas other choose to run away from the difficulties. In such situations, funny mottos to live by are good ways to get self motivated and also add a bit of humor to the situations.

Funny Mottos to Live By

'We are born wet, naked, and hungry. Then things get worse.' - Anonymous

'All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.' - Sean O'Casey

'When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.' - Mark Twain

'Life is like a game of poker: If you don't put any in the pot, there won't be any to take out.' - Moms Mabley

'After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say - I want to see the manager.' - William S. Burroughs

Inspirational Mottos to Live By

'A stand can be made against invasion by an army; no stand can be made against invasion by an idea.' - Victor Hugo

'Wisdom is knowing what to do next; skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it.' - David Starr Jordan

'Never doubt the power of a small group of committed people to change the world. That's about the only way it has ever happened in the past.' - Margaret Mead

'If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.' - Booker T. Washington

'What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.' - Oliver Wendell Holmes

'The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.' - Edmund Burke

'Imagination is more important than knowledge.' - Albert Einstein
 

Mottos to Live By for Kids

'The opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference.' - Elie Wiesel

'Television is chewing gum for the eyes.' - Frank Lloyd Wright

'Never let your schooling interfere with your education.' - Mark Twain

'Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.' - Kurt Vonnegut

'Chance favors the prepared mind.' - Louis Pasteur
 

Funny Leadership Quotes

Leadership is about getting work done. Leadership is about being prepared to bear the brunt of any negative feedback and consequences that may arise out of work that your team has performed. It is about putting your team before you. Making sure that you pay attention to the needs and requirements of the team. It involves ensuring that whatever work is assigned is properly divided and that it gets done within the time allotted. But that does not mean that just because you are a leader, it's all work and no play.

Given here are some funny leadership quotes that will brighten up your morning and make you look forward to finding humor in the smallest of things around you.
What luck for rulers that men do not think. ~ Adolf Hitler

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided. ~ Casey Stengel

The question, 'Who ought to be boss?', is like asking, 'Who ought to be the tenor in the quartet?' Obviously, the man who can sing tenor. ~ Henry Ford

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy. ~ Dave Barry

Don't tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results. ~ George S Patton

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't! ~ Margaret Thatcher

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. ~ Adlai Stevenson

Here are some other very famous leadership quotes that have a pinch of humor in them. The people whom these quotes have been attributed to have been some of the best leaders and famous personalities. They are testimony to the fact that being a leader can have its elements of fun too.

The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it. ~ Theodore Roosevelt

Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it. ~ Dwight Eisenhower

Leadership involves finding a parade and getting in front of it. ~ John Naisbitt

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. ~ George Bernard Shaw

You do not lead by hitting people over the head - that's assault, not leadership. ~ Dwight Eisenhower

If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you. If you really make them think, they'll hate you. ~ Don Marquis

What Washington needs is adult supervision. ~ Barack Obama

There go my people. I must find out where they are going so I can lead them. ~ Alexandre Ledru-Rollin


How can movie dialog writers be left behind in the quest for funny quotes. Here are a couple of leadership quotes that appeared in movies. Enjoy them and use them whenever you want.

First rule of leadership: everything is your fault. ~ A Bug's Life

How do you know my dimwitted inexperience isn't really a subtle form of manipulation used to lower people's expectations, thereby enhancing my ability to maneuver myself within any given situation? ~ Scream

You can also take a look at this article on leadership quotes for some more leadership quotes. They'll inspire and encourage you to be an even better leader that you already are. Use them to cheer yourself and others around you. It will have a positive impact on everyone and the day will go on smoothly.